Friday, February 4, 2011
First fill & first doubts
I had my first fill Wednesday. My drs office is pretty aggressive so they put in 4.5cc into a 10cc band. It was way more painful than I expected. Admittedly, I do not like needles but, still, it hurt! Apparently my port has flipped up on its side & I have a lot of scar tissue that she had to dug through to get to the port. ouch! not looking forward to more of that.
Big starting step & how does it feel? NO DIFFERENT! except that I was ravenous!! The first weeks after surgery I was not particularly hungry & mild hunger only came back once I started hitting the gym. So I got a double whammy of no restriction plus starvation roaring back. I can still take as big as bites, gulp as much water and eat just as much as last week. *sigh*
I did a lot of research in preparing for this journey & I read of lot of other bandsters' blogs. I found their stories inspiring, sometimes sad and occasionally scary. This research helped me understand the stages of banding but also I wanted to glean habits of those I regarded as successful bandsters. One thing I noticed was that people who did not gain weight during "bandster hell" seemed to have the best long-term success. So that's a goal I set for myself - no weight gain through first fill.
So, here I am at first fill but no help from my tool in sight. I've made it this far on stubbornness & willpower. That first quality I have in spades but sadly lacking in the latter. I knew I could do this for a little while if there would be help (in terms of restriction) coming along the way. If it was only going to happen on willpower alone then it would be a short journey.
I'm also self-pay. The first 3months all visits are covered but after that I start paying for office visits. Fills aren't cheap - I think they run about $200 each. How many will it take to get to my sweet spot?
So, back on that old standby: stubbornness. I heading to the gym. I have fill appts scheduled every 2 weeks through March....
...to be continued.