Monday, February 13, 2012
D@mn fickle band
weeks of maintenance: 4
My band can be a damn fickle beastie. Case in point - it was fairly wide open late last week. So much so that Saturday I was happy to be home, in a domestic mood & feeling good, so I decided to whip up dinner from scratch. Its been freezing here lately and tomato soup with grilled cheese just sounded lovely. Here is a yummy recipe for Bacon Tomato Soup & the grilled cheese had cottage cheese in it. I know it sounds weird but it was delish! (sorry can't find the recipe) And I ate it all. I had a sandwich, people!! I haven't eaten one in nearly a year. Sometimes I really do miss the old foods....(but not enough to be 225lbs again).
And how did Sunday eating go? Horrible! Tighter than drum - I even pb'd on greek yogurt. From open enough to enjoy a sandwich to so tight I could barely keep down hot tea in less than 24 hours. damn fickle beastie, indeed!
What causes such fickle behavior? Excessive traveling? Big swings in altitude from beach to mountains? Big swings in temperature from sunny beach to snowy Denver? Stress? Impending period? I don't know but given how short-tempered, bitchy & worn I've been feeling lately, I'm guessing Aunt Flo is heading to town.
More than a year into this thing & I'm still trying to figure it out. I've noticed lately that if I go *too* long between eating, my belly actually hurts more. Its like the acid goes into overdrive when my stomach is empty. Perhaps part of the issue with yesterday's debacle was that I didn't eat anything until the yogurt at 10:30am even tho' I'd been up for a couple of hours. Another reason to follow the bandster rule of eating something small every few hours. I've noticed more nighttime heartburn lately, too. I started a course of Prevacid last week - hoping this helps cut acid production a bit.
Finally, how about a flyover on some of the other things in my life right now?
*I miss my bestie. She moved far away & has been struggling with the transition. I love her & I wish I could just reach out to hug her. Mostly, I just miss her.
*My MIL is in the hospital. She is generally not well & is in the hospital for a course of treatment that is supposed to make her stronger but its not going well. Hubs doesn't say much about it but I know its on his mind. Starting to feel like the beginning of the end...
*My oldest friend from Kansas City called me up on Saturday crying & in a panic. Her dad had (another) stroke. Problem is that he was in California when it happened - so he is in a hospital out there while my oldie is back in KC. This one seems pretty bad - he's not speaking, having seizures & can't see.
* My daughter is losing weight. It would be understatement to say that this is not a good thing. My daughter has a whole host of eating problems like chewing & swallowing difficulties, aspiration & reflux all of which add up to serious challenges in getting enough food in her. She's always been a tiny thing but her weight has not kept up with her height for the last few years and then at last week's physical, she was actually down a few pounds. We have been fighting against a feeding tube for years but if her weight doesn't come up then that threat could easily become a reality. We really, really, really, really, really (REALLY!) do not want to go down that path. I think a feeding tube would just make life exponentially more complicated. Hubs is now doing everything he can think of to cram in the calories. do you know how hard it is to find full-fat yogurt???!
As with most of these types of things, I generally feel useless & helpless. Relationships and intra-personal touchy, feely stuff is just not my forte (honestly - I'm so much better at the work stuff. can I just be a coward & hide at the office for the next month?) Best thing I've come up with is for my oldie. She doesn't have the funds to fly out to Cali on a moment's notice. However, I have gobs of frequent flyer miles that I think I can use to get her a free ticket. Just a small thing but I hope it'll help.
I never know what to say or what to do. Any advice?