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Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Lunar Eclipse

I saw an article yesterday that there is a major lunar eclipse tonight (visible everywhere but North America) and it's making people anxious, frenzied and all around emotional.  Perhaps I can blame this mood on astrological events?  This is not really a funk - its just a mood.  Hard to explain.

Work was rather bland yesterday.  There are changes brewing and some significant M&A activity pending which just means everything else is on hold til any acquisitions are announced.  Plus my boss stopped by yesterday and hinted he has some major changes in the works for my next assignment.  ok.  whatever. blah.  Right now, I'm trying to get more staff hired & a couple of key promotions through the system but its all on hold til the dust settles.   So, I'm rather unfocused at the office right now & spent most of yesterday trolling through new lapband blogs.  Read several from start to finish.  Love that!  It's like watching an entire season of a favorite TV show in one sitting.  So many good stories out there.  So much inspiration!

After work, I ran a few errands but then decided to take the long way home.  Rather than the usual congested route, I went west & drove right along the Flat Iron foothills.  Sun was shining, sky was very blue & top was down on my Jeep Wrangler.  I can tell you this much - Colorado does NOT suck.  

Took me about 45minutes to get home. Enough time to clear the cobwebs from my mind but mostly just to feel.  To reflect.  To emote.  To feel emotions.  This is not one of my strong suits.  I know that - I've always swallowed my emotions.  Along with copious amounts of chocolate & carbs.  Its how I ended up with the Lapband.  Going into this journey, I knew dealing with my emotions & facing my feelings was going to be a major hurdle for me.  And here I am.  Trying to learn to identify, parse out, sort & sift through my feelings...without eating.

So, why the emoting?  Well, a very close friend is leaving.  Her husband got an amazing job on the East Coast & they will be moving by the end of the summer.  It's a great offer & she has to go.  In my head, I understand this but my heart just hurts.  I have a lot of acquaintances but very few close, close friends.  This lady that is leaving is tops of that select circle.  It also makes me step back & ponder why I have such a small inner circle.  As a rule, I tend to be very private and slow to share my real self with people (notable exception is this blog - but, then, again its anonymous.  You don't think my name is really Chloe, do you?)  Even those closest to me would describe me as "prickly."  Perhaps I need to expand my circle? Perhaps I need to let a few walls down?

Finally, a shoutout & sincere thank you to Ronnie & her fabulous followers for your support & blogger love after my Binge post.  You ladies rock! :)



Ronnie said...

I love long drives, especially on beautiful nights! Too bad we can't see the Lunar eclipse tonight, how spectacular would that be?

I'm sorry about your friend moving, at least you have some forewarning to make the most of the time left together. I do know what you mean about having a very small close circle, I think it's an evolutionary thing. Who wants to spread themselves too thin friend-wise? At least, most people don't... the ones I know who try have a ton of friends they like to consider very close, but in reality end up not very open with anyone! Not intimately anyway. (Wow, what the heck am I rambling about?) But tearing down walls is what this is all about, so then again, finding new friends is a great thing. :)

And you're definitely welcome for the love, we gotta stick together!

MandaPanda said...

LIke you, I have a very small inner circle and it can definitely get lonely. Lately, I've been trying to come out of my shell more and it seems to be working. Hang in there!