No sweat

Monday weigh-in: 165.4lbs
down 1 lb from last week.

I have a little confession...after last week's triumphant 6-month post, I went a little crazy.  A bit of "last meal fever" hit.  My band has been super loose all month & I had a fill scheduled on Thursday.  Lets just say I'm pleasantly surprised to be down this week!

The fill turned out great!  It's been 3months since I've been to the office & my restriction had flown.  She put in .25ccs & my hunger has disappeared.  I'm full after just a few bites. ah, how I missed this feeling!

Other notable notes...started training for my big bike ride in August.  Hubs & I did a 47mile ride yesterday (only 20 more miles for that race. eek!).  Feeling somewhat battered today but I'm still hitting the gym tonight per my regular schedule.

I.bought.a.bikini.  shocking!!! even more shocking?  I wore it in public this weekend!  Hubs was climbing a mountain on Saturday so my daughter & I went to the pool.  It was a lovely girls' day.  And I survived being seen in a bikini.  :)  Can you say NSV??

Speaking of NSVs....here's another one that sort of crept up on me.  It was hot this weekend in Denver.  I'm not a fan of the heat mostly because I tend to sweat a LOT!  I just realized that something is missing but its not something I miss....PIT STAINS!  I've noticed I'm much less sweaty these days (except in spin class, of course!)  Here's to being high & dry!!!!

cheers,
chloe

6 month bandiversary & whole lot data

Well, its finally here - my 6 month bandiversary!  I should warn you that this is going to be a loooooong post - so much to share!  So many changes since getting lapband on 12/20/10.....weight, measurements, labs & best of all - the most amazing NSV ever.  So let's jump on in......

today's weigh-in: 166.4lbs
pre-op weight: 225.4lbs
total lost: 59lbs in 6 months. woot-woot!!!!! happy dance :)

starting size: XL/16 (but should've been wearing 18s)
today's size: Med/10s (the size 10 jeans I'm wearing right now are feeling rather roomy)

I've got one of those fancy scales that measures other things as well:
pre-op fat%: 42%
today's body fat%: 31.4%

pre-op "body" age: 50 years
today's  "body" age: 40 years
I've gained 10 years back.  how cool is that??

Labs:
pre-op cholesterol: 213 (high)
May's cholesterol: 189 (normal)
pre-op blood pressure: 140/95 "mild hypertensive"
today's blood pressure: 100/60 "athletic"
I find the adjective "athletic" applied to me in any way to be endlessly entertaining but that's what I find when I google this most recent bp reading  :)

I've seen these progression pictures on other blogs & really liked them so I've copied that here.  Do you remember those posters that were popular in the '90s?  If you looked at it one way you saw a big field of red & orange but if you blinked then you saw a bunch of fish or something jump out at you?  That's how I feel when I look at my 6-month pictures.   When I first saw the pics, I just see all the flaws like my back fat & the flesh spilling over my bra & hiding in my pits....but then I blink & I really can't believe that these are pictures of ME!

As great as the pictures are I find the measurements to be absolutely fascinating!  I was really reluctant to get the tape measure out at the beginning but now I am soooo glad I did.  Its so cool to see how my body  shape has changed & the different rate different parts of my body change.  These numbers really do blow me away.  I was quick to lose in my mid-section but the upper arms are just really shrinking now.  Almost  a FOOT off around at my belly button & I've lost over five feet!!!  I've lost almost as many inches around as I am tall.  crazy, my friends.   And what's with losing almost 3 inches from my neck?  My neck! really?  I didn't ever think of my neck as fat but I have the data to prove it......

My journey is told in the numbers & in the pictures above but it can be the littlest thing where our truth shines through.  So after 6months & so many victories, what could possibly rate as my most amazing NSV ever?  There are lots to choose from - skinny jeans, adorable dresses, more energy, feeling stronger, sleeping better, more confidence & brighter smiles.  Nope, it is none of these.

My best ever NSV is this post!!!!  My head was full of all the typical worries as I was going into the OR on that fine December day...is this going to work for me?  can I do it?  will this be yet another failed attempt?  This post is my bestest NSV because I have never, ever stuck to any weight-loss program for this long. I'd usually get bored & frustrated in just a few weeks and quit.  Not this time.  This time it is different.  This time something is different inside of me....and I don't just mean that piece of plastic around my stomach.  Yes, that piece of plastic does help but only so much.  That piece of plastic does not pick & plan healthy high-protein meals for the week (like I did on Saturday), it does not wave away the bread basket when I'm eating out (like I did on Sunday), it does not get my ass to the gym for an hour of intensive cardio & an hour of weights (like I did last night), it does not pack my lunch everyday with quality bandster foods such as greek yogurt & cheese sticks (like I did this morning), it does not keep track of everything I eat in myfitnesspal (like I did a few hours ago), it does not keep me accountable to a larger community by blogging (like I am now) and that piece of plastic is not going to repeat this routine (like I am tomorrow).

60lbs down in 6months.  I'm pretty damn proud of that.  

cheers!
chloe

hang on....

I'm working on my 6-month bandiversary post.  Its gonna be a doozy!  But I'm slammed at work today & hitting the gym tonight so I can't get to it today.  Hang on - it'll be up tomorrow.

Lots of data & pics to share.  Plus my biggest NSV to date........

cheers,
chloe

Lunar Eclipse

I saw an article yesterday that there is a major lunar eclipse tonight (visible everywhere but North America) and it's making people anxious, frenzied and all around emotional.  Perhaps I can blame this mood on astrological events?  This is not really a funk - its just a mood.  Hard to explain.

Work was rather bland yesterday.  There are changes brewing and some significant M&A activity pending which just means everything else is on hold til any acquisitions are announced.  Plus my boss stopped by yesterday and hinted he has some major changes in the works for my next assignment.  ok.  whatever. blah.  Right now, I'm trying to get more staff hired & a couple of key promotions through the system but its all on hold til the dust settles.   So, I'm rather unfocused at the office right now & spent most of yesterday trolling through new lapband blogs.  Read several from start to finish.  Love that!  It's like watching an entire season of a favorite TV show in one sitting.  So many good stories out there.  So much inspiration!

After work, I ran a few errands but then decided to take the long way home.  Rather than the usual congested route, I went west & drove right along the Flat Iron foothills.  Sun was shining, sky was very blue & top was down on my Jeep Wrangler.  I can tell you this much - Colorado does NOT suck.  

Took me about 45minutes to get home. Enough time to clear the cobwebs from my mind but mostly just to feel.  To reflect.  To emote.  To feel emotions.  This is not one of my strong suits.  I know that - I've always swallowed my emotions.  Along with copious amounts of chocolate & carbs.  Its how I ended up with the Lapband.  Going into this journey, I knew dealing with my emotions & facing my feelings was going to be a major hurdle for me.  And here I am.  Trying to learn to identify, parse out, sort & sift through my feelings...without eating.

So, why the emoting?  Well, a very close friend is leaving.  Her husband got an amazing job on the East Coast & they will be moving by the end of the summer.  It's a great offer & she has to go.  In my head, I understand this but my heart just hurts.  I have a lot of acquaintances but very few close, close friends.  This lady that is leaving is tops of that select circle.  It also makes me step back & ponder why I have such a small inner circle.  As a rule, I tend to be very private and slow to share my real self with people (notable exception is this blog - but, then, again its anonymous.  You don't think my name is really Chloe, do you?)  Even those closest to me would describe me as "prickly."  Perhaps I need to expand my circle? Perhaps I need to let a few walls down?

Finally, a shoutout & sincere thank you to Ronnie & her fabulous followers for your support & blogger love after my Binge post.  You ladies rock! :)


cheers,
chloe

Back in the Saddle

today's weigh-in: 170.8lbs
up almost 2lbs from last week.

yep, there it is.  evidence of my binges.  sigh.  bad choices, bad outcome.
all I can do is pick myself, brush myself off & get back in the saddle again.  That's exactly what I did this weekend....got back on my bike saddle.

We had an old friend visit us this weekend.  He was here to do the Denver Century - a 100 mile bike ride around Denver - with my husband.  Although he's only 42, he was diagnosed with cancer at the beginning of last year.  Somewhere in the middle of the ravaging chemo/surgery/more chemo routine, he made a list of all things he wanted to do after cancer.  One year later & he's beat it!  I'm so happy for him & I was so glad he came to see us on his "Back to Health" tour 2011.  He looks good & is obviously really strong.  The guys did the ride in about 6 hours.  So proud :)  You should've seen him at the finish line..tired, covered in road dust & sunburned but glowing.  He'd just completed an amazing physical feat AFTER cancer.

It was a good reminder for me & a slap upside the head that health is a key reason for this journey.  I'm feeling inspired which means (drum roll, please!)....I just signed up for the Venus de Miles ride.  This is a women's only ride around Boulder at the end of August & I've decided to do the 67-mile course. OMG!  what am I thinking?  I've heard that the ride is a lot of fun, not stressful & they have chocolate at every aid station.  How can you not love it???  I chose the 67-miler b/c I think it'll be a challenge & a stretch goal for me.  Guess I need to start training now, eh?

Our friend lives in Portland, OR & is not used to our altitude so on Saturday we all went on a pre-race 30-mile ride so he could acclimatize.  I was in the lead for this ride until my hubs griped that I was going too fast.   hahahaha!  And why was I going that fast?  to get my heartrate up!  Cruising with the boys, my heartrate was only about 65% of max but my pace was 75-80% of max.  that's more like it!  We did a ride that I've done many times in the past and, in the past, I always remember being beat at the halfway point & struggling to make it home.  This time was totally different.  It felt...enjoyable.  I felt the joy of my blood pumping, my legs moving & the wind in my face.  wow!  that's new!  And when we got home?   I worked in the garden for a few hours before heading out for dinner.  Rather than crashing on the couch completed exhausted; this time I still had plenty of energy for moving pots around, digging holes, hauling bags of potting soil, etc.

Back in the saddle.

cheers,
chloe

Binge

Well, I've been on bit of binge lately.  crap!  sigh. stupid!
ice cream, cookies, breads, chocolate (lots of chocolate). And I see the results everyday when I weigh myself & yet, still, I binge.

On the positive side, my binges today are not like anything pre-band.  At most, I'm consuming 2,000 calories per day - max.  My binge now is 4 squares of chocolate or 4 cookies.  But this is a far cry from the 1000-1200 daily calories I'd been sticking to.  Damage may be less but it still feels like a binge.

Also, I'm catching myself prior to totally going off the deep-end.  In fact, I was driving into work this morning & was absolutely starving (even tho' I'd just had my usual morning protein shake).  I was thinking to myself I'd just grab a bagel & cream cheese when I get to the office.  wha'??!!  wait!  Then I remembered that I now keep mixed nuts in my desk so I munched on those instead & skipped the carbs.  Somewhere in this fail is actually a win for me.......I'm much more aware which helps cut the mindless eating.

Obviously, I am in desperate need of a fill.  It actually been about 3 months since my last one.  I've got the classic signs:  eating way more than a 1/2c or 1c of food in a sitting; hungry within an hour or two; able to eat things (like bread & bagels) I couldn't before.  I had an appt scheduled for June 21 but the drs ofc just called & pushed it out a week.  grrrrrrrrr.    A little trip back through bandster hell - ugh!

But here's whats really bugging me about this whole episode....why?  Why am I doing this to myself?  Why am I sabotaging my good efforts?  60lbs down just around the corner & I pull this kind of crap? We've got friends coming in to town this weekend that haven't seen me since surgery.  We have family coming in for 4th of July who I haven't seen in almost 2 years.  The big 6month post-op dr appt is just a few weeks away.   All of this & yet it feels like I'm falling down just before the (nearest) finish line.

WTF??

cheers,
chloe

Another Monday & 5 month pics

Yes, indeed, it is another Monday.
Its finally warming up in Denver & I'm having a serious case of summer-itis.  sigh.

today's weigh-in: 169.2lbs
down 0.4lbs from last week
Frankly, after last week's huge loss (plus the ice cream I ate all weekend.  did you know those mini-Blizzards from DQ are 400 calories??!! You do now!) I wasn't expecting any loss.  Actually, this is more than I hoped for...it means that the loss was real.   Not some sort of figment of my imagination or fluke of dehydration.

Rather late but here are some 5-month pics.....

I'm quite pleased how the side shot is coming along & I've even noticed my back fat is finally starting to melt off.  There is even a hint of daylight between my upper thighs.  Now that is progress!

I'm starting to think ahead to vacation.  We're heading up to the mountains for 4th of July with some family.  No big plans - enjoy the outdoors, breathe in the fresh mountain air, hang by the pool......what?? poolside?  ugh!  I need to buy a swim suit. gasp!

Jeans & swim suits.  evil things in our world.  But now that I'm working this new body, I'm wondering if I should (could) try something different.  Definitely not a string bikini - no string is going to provide the miracle of engineering my boobs require - but I'm wondering if there is something else that might work.

Reality is, I have big boobs. still.  probably always will.  In fact, my hubs is convinced when I get to goal that I'll be a stick with boobs.   fabulous!

 After some cruising around online, I wonder if I could pull something like this off without looking totally ridiculous?  I've never worn anything quite so....small.....in all my life & its a little strange to be contemplating it now at 39.    thoughts?

cheers,

chloe