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Wednesday, May 18, 2011

50lbs down!!!!

Yes, its true & very hard for me to believe.  I'm officially down 50lbs in almost 5 months!!!

Monday (Tuesday, actually) weigh-in: 175.6lbs!
down since last weigh-in: I have no idea

Truly, its hard for me to process.  I broke this journey into little mini-chunklets of 10% or 8lbs each.  The mini-goals definitely help me not be overwhelmed about how far I have to go (sample convo in my head....self: skip the chocolate since you only have 3lbs to go to next goal.......rather than self:  swing by DQ for a large malt since you have 80lbs to go and its so far away).  However, the mini-goals kind of obscure big milestones like this one so it hasn't really sunk in yet.
Maybe if I keep screaming it in my head, it'll start to feel real.  My rate of weight loss absolutely has slowed - you can see that by my mini-goal tracker in the sidebar.  I was reaching a mini-milestone every month but this last one took me six weeks.  But, hey, I'm only 6lbs from the next step.....better go to the gym tonight :)

Don't you just love Bigger Loser?  Those girls are amazing.....still losing 4lbs/week even this far along.  I was admiring that all the girls are in the 140s now which is my ultimate goal.  Wonder what I will look like then?

Sorry no posts last week - I was in southeast Asia on business.  The trip was ok.  I think I was expecting a lot more from Singapore but it just felt like any other city.  However, the food was simply amazing.  So many different cuisines to chose from; so many spices & flavors.  I was only there 3 days but every meal - highend to street hawker - was fantastic.  Most of it was actually quite band-friendly, too.  Most meals are served family style so you can just take a bite or two from each dish.  Plus, lots of fish & not really any desserts.   mmmmmm, chili crab. excellent!

The travel days were just long - 30hours to get home.  Bad airplane food is universal.  I find myself hoarding food in these situations.  You should have seen all crap I had stuffed in my purse!  The stress eater in me comes out, too.  I do confess to a chocolate shake at O'Hare when the flight from Hong Kong was late & I missed my connection home by 5minutes.  That miss added 3 hours to my overlong journey.  sigh.

One thing that struck me on this trip was the loss of an old friend - comfort food.  For me, there is no longer comfort in food.  This fact is still sinking into my fat-brain.  In fact, when I treat food poorly (eating too fast, not chewing well, big bites, bad food choices) there is actually more pain involved than comfort.  How pavlovian.  I feel like I am just coming around to this reality.  I feel like I am still fighting or resisting this reality.   I guess I'm into the real work of breaking a lifetime of bad habits.  Success will be measured in how long I go between stuck & PB episodes.  I do believe these are not supposed to be a routine part of life with the lapband.  I see these events as signals that my behavior needs to change.

I'm so glad to be home - I'm much better with a consistent routine.  Get up, have protein shake while getting ready for work, a cup of tea mid-morning, lite lunch,  greek yogurt or some snack late afternoon, hit the gym for cardio & weights, quick dinner, bed.  Rinse & repeat.  Travel just throws me off.....

....and there is more to come.   While I was in Singapore, I got notified that the next big trip is in the works for mid-June.   Around the world in two weeks.  Literally.  Europe leg one week & Asia leg the next.  I sit down with my colleagues tomorrow to hash out trip coverage.  Lets see how much of it I can weasel out of...this year was really supposed to be for me to dial down a bit on the work front in order invest in Project Me.

As a reminder, lets shout today's success one more time...


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