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Tuesday, July 19, 2011

I am not cured...

... I was originally going to add "yet" to this title but then I realized I don't think I'll be cured *ever.*  This is just starting to dawn on me - pardon me while I catch up with the rest of the class.  Even though I'm banded, I think I will always struggle with food issues, cravings, overeating, etc. I'm now realizing that I'll never be cured of my food addictions or my desire to turn to food during stress.  Now I just need to come to terms with that.

I've been thinking a lot about yesterday's post regarding setting goals & endpoints.  Thank you all for your lovely comments!!  I find it so helpful to turn to this community for support, answers, clarity.  I spent a lot of time yesterday perusing new & old blogs - trying to get a sense of where I am in this journey.  Reading your stories, I've come to the conclusion that I'm not done yet.  Still not convinced 145lbs is the right goal but I know 165lbs isn't it either.  So, I've decided to set an intermediate target of 155lbs.  Once I get there, I'll figure out where to go after that.  Basically, I've decided to decide later.  Fabulous!  I could be a politician. :)

Since I'm not done on this journey, I need to figure out what is holding me back, address it & move on.  Its really not much of mystery to me - I'm eating too much.  Of course, too much of the wrong things....cookies, pastries, breads, sweets, etc.   So the question is: why am I stuffing crap down my piehole?

I believe I am going to have to address some my underlying emotional drama.  I've been rather hesitant to unpack of my baggage since things have been going so swimmingly for the last 60lbs.   Why get dirty if I don't have to?  There have been things on my mind lately that its probably time to drag out into the light and really use this blog space for what its meant to be.  I started this blog as an anonymous place where I could record my journey - highs & lows - but also vent those bits of me that rarely are let loose in my real life.  my emotions.  the good, the bad, the ugly.  the parts I am proud of but also the parts I am ashamed of.  This will be the topics of my next few've been warned! :)  Now, there is nothing truly horrendous in my past - no abuse, no violence, no salacious Lifetime-worthy drama - its just LIFE I'm dealing with here.

In the meantime, I'm evaluating other aspects of my banded journey & trying to get back to basics.  I'm doing something this week I haven't done in quite awhile.  I sat down Sunday, did a meal plan for the week & then went grocery shopping.  We're cooking at home all week!

Here's the menu:
(Hubs is very good about trying new things & we like to experiment a little.  Fun to keep the tastes fresh & seasonal.)
Sunday: 5-spice tilapia with glazed carrots
OMG! this was so good, super fast & sooooo easy!  I sliced the carrots on a mandolin & that was the hardest part.  definitely going into our standard rotation.  huge hit.

Monday: Grilled Chicken with Peach Bourbon Butter and Mixed Greens & Avocado salad
we stole this entire dinner right out of this month's Cooking Light issue.  it was ok.  It took a lot of time to make the peach/bourbon glaze.  Not fabulous enough to be worth the effort.  Salad was just ok, too

Tuesday (tonight): Turkey with Blueberry Pan sauce & grilled corn on the cob
this recipe looks promising - fast & easy. Blueberries are a superfood.  yum.  Never had much luck with anything turkey that wasn't a whole bird, so we'll see how it goes.....

Wed Spinach Steak Blueberry Salad
Eating Well had a "blueberry" series & this looked good, too.  Great way to use any leftover berries from previous nite...

Thursday:  no cooking.  Going to see India Arie at the Botanical Gardens & will just pack a picnic

Friday:  some shrimp dish...forgetting the details

I'm also going to add another hour of cardio back into the workout routine.
Here's the menu:
Sunday:  long bike ride up Lookout
Monday: an hour of kickbox
Tuesday: going to hit the elliptical for an hour tonight
Wed: kickbox & weights
Thursday: rest (but looks like I just scheduled a round of golf with my boss.  is that exercise?)
Friday:  hour of spin & hour of weights

At the end of the week, I'll assess & see if I get any results.  I leave bright & early Saturday morning for a trip to Asia.  I'm in Seoul & Beijing all next week.  sigh.



Amanda said...

Fabulous plan! You like the same magazines as I do! I find that I like everything I cook out of Eating Well! Sometimes the Cooking Light can be hit or miss!

As for turkey. Look for turkey cutlets! They are fantastic and tender. Turkey dries for me and then it makes it hard to eat! I will put a little panko bread crumbs on it and pan brown it and make a mango or peach salsa. It is yummy!

MandaPanda said...

Those recipes all sound so yummy! And your exercise routine is awesome! I think your intermediate goal is perfect. Only you know your body and I think when you get to a "comfy" place, you'll know it.